For many siblings working together to care for aging parents is difficult or nearly impossible. The decisions involved in caring for elderly parents can strain siblinghood to the point where mediation is needed.

Eighty percent of American adults have siblings, and two-thirds of adults name a brother or sister as one of their best friends, but twenty two percent consider their relationship “apathetic” or downright “hostile.” More and more siblings are struggling with each other over their elderly parents.

The Washington Post and The New York Times wrote about the growing field of elder mediation.

An elder mediator gathers siblings around a table and, for a fee of about $200 to $400 an hour, helps them deal with whatever it is they’re really arguing about. He helps families resolve conflicts and find solutions that everyone can accept. “Most of the time siblings want what’s best for the parents. They just look at it in a different way,” said Susanne Terry, an elder mediator. “Our goal is to help them figure out what their common interests are, so they can work together to find solutions.”